I don’t believe things happen in some grand, orchestrated scheme that will automatically play out in some positive way given enough time.
One of the happiest moments I’m fortunate enough to experience these days comes around just about every night.
That’s when I get to hold my daughter, Brooklyn, and son, Jayce, tightly as I rock them to sleep. I have the Pandora app on my phone playing relaxing songs from the Calm Meditation Radio station. “A song? A song?” little Brooklyn always asks. Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major is our favorite. I can’t help but notice how touched my beautiful, supportive, and extremely loving wife, Carrie, is while she observes this scene play out from the other side of the bedroom.
I can’t think of a better way to end my day. It took me a very long time to get to this peaceful place in my life. I now allow myself to feel this deep love and connection instead of pushing it away. I no longer simply hope it will eventually become a part of my life. Not only do I continue to passionately help other people improve the quality of their lives as I’ve done for years, I now make sure I give that same level of concern to myself too.
My MANfomation toward self-discovery and intense personal development has helped me finally experience what I just couldn’t seem to figure out how to do for what seemed to be my entire life.
I’m so overwhelmed with emotion just about every night that it’s tough for me to fight back the tears.
I’m happy to say that many times these are tears of joy. I finally made it here. I cracked my personal code. I finally get to experience this sense of peace, comfort, and real happiness that eluded me. I’m not going to go to my grave wondering what this would have felt like.
However, those are not the feelings and emotions that my mind chooses to focus on all the time. I have to confess that some nights I’m overcome with sadness. Why did I have to make my life so challenging? Did things have to be the way they were? What important life lessons did I miss along the way? Why couldn’t I figure this out sooner? What would my life be like now if I could have just figured this out 10 or even five years earlier?
How many more years on this planet do I have left to courageously give and accept the love from my family? When I think about how old I’ll be when Brooklyn and Jayce are just 20 years old, I get a lump in my throat. And, When I think about the fact that I won’t be around for them when they’re at the age I’m at right now, it kills me inside.
I have to love, hug, and look into their eyes every single day with a sense of urgency.
I know. I should be focusing on the positive. At least I’m here now, right? Some people will go their entire lives and never figure these things out.
“Everything happens for a reason” is a saying that I often hear people repeat. It’s normally used by a supportive person trying to give someone hope when that person has suffered some sort of pain or disappointment in life.
Many times, it’s the person who is suffering who is telling himself or herself that. They’re doing their best to make some sense out of the unfortunate event they’re going through.
I’ve always had a challenge blindly following the belief that “everything happens for a reason.”
It’s not that I don’t believe it. It’s that I don’t believe things happen in some grand, orchestrated scheme that will automatically play out in some positive way given enough time. I don’t believe that all we need to do is sit back and patiently wait for things to unfold.
Many times, events don’t just happen to us. Most of the time, we have at least some influence over what’s going on in our lives. When things don’t turn out the way we want, the toughest challenge is taking responsibility for how we influenced the unfortunate events in our lives.
When I have the courage to take full responsibility for the events that have happened in my life, it doesn’t make me feel good.
I decided what the “reason” for what I’ve gone through was going to be a long time ago.
I communicate with men who are walking down the very same path that I walked almost every single day through emails, social media, or actual conversations with them.
They are all in different stages of their journeys. They are all in different levels of awareness.
Sadly, I fully realize that many people will not make it here. They won’t crack their personal code. They will continue to give far more concern to others than they will give to themselves. They will not get to experience this sense of peace, comfort, and real happiness that eludes them. They will go to their grave wondering what this would have felt like.
It’s my mission to have my seemingly unfortunate experiences serve me by serving others. I continually strive to tell my story in a way that helps other people with the very same challenges that I’ve had in order to help get them to a place in their lives where they really want to be.
I’m committed to doing everything I can to help them speed up their process and help them make it over here to the other side where I’m at too. I want to do everything I can to help them experience the connection they really want earlier in their lives. I want them to enjoy a lot more time on this earth holding their babies tightly with their amazing wife nearby than I can.
If those are the reasons why the events have happened in my life, I’ll be happy because they’ll have a real, worthwhile meaning.
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