I Suddenly Realized That The “Chatter” Wasn’t Going On In My Head Anymore

I Suddenly Realized That The "Chatter" Wasn't Going On In My Head Anymore

As a looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, there was something noticeably different. It actually took me a few minutes to figure it out. The “chatter,” as I now call it, was no longer ringing in my head. This was the first time I noticed that it wasn’t there.

It was bright and early one sunny summer morning when I got out of bed like always. This was the usual time of day when all of the plans, thoughts, and worries that I had ahead of me jostled ferociously around in my head. Which challenges was this “Spartan” going battle today–and how was he going to annihilate them? That was an everyday occurrence. That was just my normal pattern of thinking. It usually took a few minutes, if not a couple of hours, for the loud and pounding self-talk to subside while I was already attacking my day.

However, this day was going to be much different than any I could remember. It was going to be the beginning of a new, breakthrough period of my life.

As a looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, there was something noticeably different. It actually took me a few minutes to figure it out. The “chatter,” as I now call it, was no longer ringing in my head. This was the first time I noticed that it wasn’t there.

The strangest thing this about this moment was that it was the very first time I even realized that there was chatter ever going on. Only by contrast did I even notice the difference because I had been living with it for so long. In fact, I don’t ever remember living without it. Probably because I just thought that’s how everyone’s mind operated, I never even questioned it.
“What the hell was going on?” I wondered.

Was it because of all of the personal development work I had done on myself and that I attacked all of the challenges that I’ve documented throughout this book head-on? Were my efforts finally paying off? Was I finally coming up with all of the answers to the pressing questions I’d been asking myself? Was I finally getting on the right track to use my talents, abilities, and potential to the fullest and start living the life I’d always dreamed about before it was too late?

I wasn’t sure if I was winning or losing the continual urge to lighten up on myself and, instead of earning the life I really wanted, appreciate the fact that I was doing “better than most.” Was I experiencing this sudden inner-peace because I was finally hitting my stride–or was it because I was giving up and decided to settle?

I define “chatter” as destructive combination of the effective and efficient part of your brain trying to get what you want in life in a vicious death match with the part of your brain housing all of the disastrous “emotional gunk.”

By emotional gunk, I mean the excess, unnecessary, misguided, illogical, and disempowering thoughts and emotions that I unknowingly attached to positive and productive ones. On top of that, I had some of the negative thoughts and opinions of other people getting in on the conflict that was going on in my head. Some of those negative thoughts and opinions of others were real and some were merely perceived on my part. But just because they might have not been real, they affected me as if they were real. Those misguided perceptions were still doing their damage.

Chatter = What it really takes to get what you want + Emotional Gunk

I consider myself a late bloomer. I never accomplished anything especially amazing in what most people would consider early in life. Doing great in the most important areas of life didn’t come easily for me either.

There are basically three areas of life that most people want to improve:

• Money

• Relationships, and

• Health/Physical Appearance

I’ve discovered that, for most people, it works in that order of priority too. Many people assume that having enough money will make it much, much easier to take care of the other two areas. The emotions that they get when they have enough money will serve as the foundation to take the quality of their relationships and health and physical fitness to higher levels.
I’ll explain my situation up until that point in time in reverse order of how most people prioritize them.

Even though I went on to become a six-time national champion bodybuilder, I didn’t even start working out on a consistent basis until I was 27 years old. In my early to mid 20s, I was just like a lot people who struggle with fitness in the world. I would get all excited and join a gym–only to quit two or three months later (if even that long). I did that two or three times before I finally made it a lifestyle that has lasted ever since.

Even though I had a lot of girlfriends, I struggled with close and connected intimate relationships most of my adult life. I was one of those single people who would happily reference all the good, healthy-minded, and successful people in the world who were single just like me. I always seemed to keep myself abreast to the high divorce rate statistics just in case I needed them to strengthen my position in a debate. I would almost celebrate when a longtime, public marriage that people thought was so amazing would come to an end. If someone talked about how great their marriage was and how happy they were in it, it would almost make me angry. Of course, I never showed that anger. In my mind, I would do everything I could to shoot holes in their assessment in order to convince myself that it was just a matter of time before “reality” set in for the poor guy.

As I look back, it’s easy to see that I did all of this just to feel better about my sorry situation. Yeah, I was THAT guy. I’m sure you know a few of them. Maybe that describes you perfectly? I really wanted to be in an awesome, committed relationship. I just couldn’t figure out how to make that happen.

I would have never imagined back then how peaceful, powerful, and productive the relationship that I have with my wife Carrie would make me. I am such a better man in so many different ways because I finally cracked the code and got this area of my life taken care of. When I think about all the time, focus, and energy I lost when I couldn’t figure it out, it makes me sick to my stomach! That’s time, focus, and energy that I can never get back.

When it came to earning money at the highest level, I didn’t make it important. I attached unnecessary “emotional gunk” and meanings to making a significant amount of money from all of the experiences that I described in this book making it a formidable challenge. The truth is that I made winning that game at the highest level that I really wanted impossible. And, because it was impossible, I never really made it important enough to give it my full focus and attention and use all of my talent and abilities to earn more of it. That focus, attention, talent, and abilities always went elsewhere.

I’ve accomplished so many things now that business is just business for me without all of the other unnecessary emotional gunk that I started attaching to making money ever since I was a little boy. As a man, it feels awesome to work more effectively and efficiently to provide for my family at the highest level.

Whether it was being healthy and physically fit, being in a close and connected intimate relationship, or making the amount of money that I was truly capable of earning, I entangled way too much of that “emotional gunk” to every one of these important areas of my life.

As I’m sure you realize, the challenge of having wealth, love and connection, and great health all at the same time in your life, creating any type of balance while pursuing them, and managing to keep them all once you have them is a tough enough all by itself. When you add all of the emotional gunk into the equation, you make it almost impossible.
The day when I realized that all the chatter was finally gone was a very freeing point in my life and one that I’ll never forget. It was the beginning of a whole new life filled with unleashed passion, power, purpose, and perspective.

It was my rebirth that led to where I am now in my life and, more importantly, the higher and higher levels of love, fulfillment, achievements, and the continued positive impact I have on so many other men around the world who are working their way through the same challenges that I have.

Sure, life would have been so much easier for me if I was never burdened with the emotional baggage that I absorbed throughout my life experiences. I would have had the quality of life, feelings, emotions, and level of success that I’m enjoying right now much earlier.

But if I wasn’t forced to think so much about how I was going overcome all the challenges that stood in my way, work so hard, and take the series of action steps I took, I wouldn’t have the insight and perspective to help the men I do.

You must always remember that everything that happens in your life can and will serve you in some way, shape, or form. It’s just a matter of time until you realize it.
Yes, I have to love and hug my wife and children with a greater sense of urgency because I don’t have as much time left on this planet to do so compared to if I would have figured out all of these challenges earlier in life, but I am thankful that I finally made it here.

It isn’t like everything magically became incredibly easy for me. It took a lot of work. I had to get help finding the right strategies and gaining the right perspective. I will always have work ahead of me and expect to until the day I die. I know I can’t just “set and forget it” and coast. That’s just part of the process for all of us. I just do it now with a clearer head.
What I love most about my MANformation coaching is using my “late bloomer” experiences and perspective to help men understand that it’s all the chatter going on in their head that’s creating most of their perceived obstacles and then help them break those obstacles down one by one.

I’ve come to realize that all of the angst to finally get your life together and finally use all of your talents and abilities to the fullest is something that most men struggle with just like I did. It’s doesn’t matter if a man is 25, 35, 45, 55, or 65 years old and it doesn’t matter what they have or have not accomplished, there’s an anxious feeling inside telling them they should be further along in life. Helping other men “get it” sooner in life brings me an incredible amount of purpose and meaning. I want everyone on this planet to experience a day when the chatter that’s going on in their head–whether they realized it’s there or not–finally goes away.
It’s not too late to be great!

How much chatter is going on in your head right now? How are the logical, positive thoughts doing in the battle against the your own disempowering, negative thoughts that you’ve created and the ones implanted in your head by other people?

Have you even thought about it? I know I didn’t until the day I finally noticed it was gone.

No matter how much chatter is going on in your head or how challenging life may seem, always remember that’s it’s not too late to be great.

If you can relate to this story and you’d like some help taking your life to the next level, here’s your chance to get some help from Skip La Cour.

Each month, Skip La Cour gives away seven (7) of these coaching session absolutely FREE.

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